from my summer 2008 advenure

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Reflections on friendship

We had occasion to have dinner last night with some very good friends, and ever since I have been contemplating the notion of friendship...what is a friend-friendship-a good friend-a best friend?

  • What makes for a good friend?
  • Why are some people better at it than others?
  • Do guys do friendship different than women?
I am very blessed to have what I consider a number of very good friends, a bunch of good friends, and a ton of friendly acquaintances! But why?

I wonder how good a friend I really am? I enjoy connecting with folks, hearing their stories, laughing with them at life's adventures. But when it comes to"giving back" I'm not so attentive. Why? Is it laziness, busyness or protective defense mechanisms?

It takes work, time, energy, and intentionality to be a friend, sometimes a lot of each; sometimes it comes very easily, sometimes it requires us hurt, to feel emotions we would rather not, and to open the window of our own soul.

I wonder how many friends - true share your guts kind of friends can a person reasonably keep up with?

It has been my experience that friendships change over time. There are people in my life with whom I used to be close friends, over time they became casual friends, Christmas card friends, hi - how ya doing friends, or altogether lost. What changed? Alot of things contribute to the ebb and flow of friendships - life's ups and downs, disagreements, time, physical distance and plain old disinterest.

Perhaps this quote will help us all consider anew how we go about being a friend?!

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being." -Goethe

What about you - your thoughts on friendship?
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